User:SacredSturgeon

SacredSturgeon (Acipenser Sacrum) is a one-of-a-kind specie of Sturgeon, known for it's immense size, strength, intelligence, and general awesomeness. It is known as one of the oldest species in existance, having been around since shortly after the Flying Spaghetti Monster created the Totality of Existance. It has numerous super powers, the most notable of which are it's Sacred Energy Beam, Sacred Energy Blast, ability to fly, and super strenght. It's immortality is also often referred to as a super power, but this is incorrect: it is merely the result of SacredSturgeon being too lazy to die (see below).

Since 14-01-1989, SacredSturgeon has decided to grace the planet Earth with it's prescence. Even the backward people of this puny planet eventually acknowledged it's greatness, and as a result, SacredSturgeon has been given the honourable position of Supreme Overlord of the Nayru Clan.

SacredSturgeon as Supreme Overlord and Emperor of the Nayru Clan
On 22-04-2007, SacredSturgeon, along with Sir Awkin, was given the single greatest honour the planet Earth had to offer: Supreme Overlordship of the Nayru Clan. Reportedly, the fish deity greatly enjoys modding the Clan. It has, among other things, brought back the ancient tradition of Nayrulian of the Month, much to the joy of his subjects, and it has been valiantly defending the title of Nayru's Lounge and other awesome Nayrulian threads against such horribly evil entities as Lioliolioliolioliolio.

SacredSturgeon's accomplishements
... Look elsewhere.

SacredSturgeon's infamous acquiring of immortality
This is a transcript that has taken place between the Grim Reaper and SacredSturgeon, in which SacredSturgeon succesfully managed to argue his immortality:

Death: You cannot escape death. Everybody has to die at some point.

SacredSturgeon: So you're saying dying is one of those things I have to do eventually, right?

Death: Correct.

SacredSturgeon: Fair enough. In that case, I can do it later. Say, for example, next week.

Death: Well, I guess so, in theo...

SacredSturgeon: And obviously, if I can put it off untill, say, next week, then next week I can put it off until the week after that. And then the week after that. Etcetera.

Death: Well...

SacredSturgeon: Therefore, I can keep putting it off, eventually forget about it, and end up never doing it.

Death: But...

SacredSturgeon: Ergo, I am immortal, as I am simply too lazy to ever die. QED, which is Latin for "owned".

Death: ... I hate you. *goes away*

Little-known SacredSturgeon-related facts

 * SacredSturgeon once defeated Tiroth the Pink Fluffy Dragon. To this day, the dragon denies this event ever took place.


 * SacredSturgeon is an explodologist. Sadly, this entirely respectable branch of science still isn't officially recognised.


 * SacredSturgeon is a prolific inventor. His inventions all have one thing in common: they all explode at some point. Any invention that can be used, discarded, disassembled and returned to it's base materials without it exploding has not been made by SacredSturgeon.


 * SacredSturgeon's signature weapon is the Sacred Huge Double-Bladed Chainsaw-Bladed Exploding Axe of Wisdom, an ancient relic only SacredSturgeon can wield. Nobody really understands how on Earth SacredSturgeon manages to wield it, as fish do not have hands, only fingers.


 * SacredSturgeon was Asia's second ever Highlight Member, right after Offler (then known as Gezmok), which was one of the greatest honours the fish deity ever received.